PEOPLE: Bad Days Are (kind of) Like Birthdays

You probably think I’m crazy for saying that. But stick with me.

Today was a shambly day for a dear friend of mine. Plain and simple, she had a bad day (cue the extremely over-played Daniel Powter one-hit wonder).

Today is also the 19^th birthday of another fabulous girl I’m proud to call friend.  

How could two such opposite events both occupy October 16^th?

The answer is simple: Maybe they aren’t so opposite after all.

Bad days. Every now and then there comes a day that you don’t really want to talk about, but deep down inside you kind of do want to talk about it because then at least you’re not the only one who knows how crappy everything is.

You’ve pretty much got two choices here:

1.     You can go around whining and complaining to everyone who will hear your tragic tale, so at least you aren’t alone in the depths of despair (since you’ve dragged everyone else down there with you).

OR...

2.     You can keep it quiet and not let a soul know that anything is wrong, suffering silently, but at least you’re not burdening everyone else with your problems.

As you can see, keeping your bad day a secret or making it the most obnoxious part of everyone’s Facebook feed has essentially the same result. It’s a very fitting lose-lose situation, compounding the frustration. As if having a terrible day wasn’t bad enough!

One last precaution on the silent treatment. Because what happens the next day? If you don’t tell anyone, and then, inevitably your woe-is-me story surfaces, chances are that your friends are going to pity you and say something along the lines of “What? Really? Why didn’t you tell me you had a rough day? You know I’m here for you, right?” Now you’re really stuck.

The flip side of bad days is that they are a reminder that every other day must be a good day simply by comparison! So while today might be Challenger Deep low, other days must be at least sea level; maybe a few are even Mount Everest high.

Birthdays. Say it’s yours. You don’t really want to talk about it and announce your perceived self-importance to the rest of the universe, but deep down inside you kind of do want to talk about it because then at least you can insure that somebody besides you will acknowledge your special day.

Again, you’ve pretty much got two choices here:

1.     You can go around reminding everyone you know that your birthday is in 47 days so they should probably start planning something now. And you don’t want a surprise party or anything, but you never had one as a kid and it sure would be nice. But they don’t need to feel like they have to buy you anything because it’s not that big of a deal, just the day that your grand entrance into planet Earth forever shattered the course of human history. The positive side? At least you won’t have to bake your own cake.  (Other ideas for your Betty Crocker-type friends: something like this one I had when I turned 5).

OR...

2.     You can keep it quiet and not let anyone know that your birthday is tomorrow, because you’re mature and you don’t need to make a big show of it. You guess it’s ok if you’re not showered with presents and desserts…At least you’re not making everybody feel obligated to celebrate you against their will.

As you can see, keeping your birthday a secret or making it the most obnoxious part of everyone’s Facebook feed has essentially the same result. It’s a very merry unbirthday type of lose-lose situation, compounding the frustration. And we’re supposed to be celebrating today!

And one last precaution on the silent treatment. Because what happens the next day? If you don’t tell anyone it’s your birthday, and then, inevitably your desk is littered with “Happy Birthday” cards from your relatives back home who remembered, chances are that your friends are going to pity you and say something along the lines of “What? Really? Why didn’t you tell me it was your birthday? I would have gotten you a gift or something!” Again, you’re stuck.

On the flip side, while birthdays might be starting to make you feel a little old,  they’re a reminder of just how great it is to be alive! Some people can only dream about the chance to celebrate another birthday, but here we are, complaining about how age 50 is the death of us.

So do yourself a favor and solve both of these moral dilemmas.

If you’re having a bad day, take a little “me-time” and just relax. Do something mindless, something you love – draw, cook, program websites – whatever it takes.  Chances are that your day isn’t really as terrible as you think it is. Sit down with a trustworthy friend and review the day’s events. I bet you’ll find that either you’ve exaggerated the situation just a little bit, or (even if your day is truly disastrous) your friend has some comforting advice.

If it’s your birthday, plan your own kind of celebration. The point of a milestone of life isn’t that somebody else remembers it, but that you get to remember it. You’ve lived a whole year from the last time you had a cake with your name on it! Think about all that happened in that year and get excited about what’s to come. Call your mom and thank her profusely for pushing you (literally and figuratively) into the beautiful world you now live in.

…And if you’re really desperate to have other people remember your birthday too, there’s nothing Yahoo answers can’t help you with. It’s a casual approach…kind of.